Potentiality Explored No. 18

Mind your own BUSY-NESS!

Many people I coach struggle to manage the demands on their time. They are super-busy. Their jobs and responsibilities are overwhelming, their diaries are full, and in their non-work time they find it hard to switch off even though they yearn for quality time with families or leisure activities. Does this sound familiar?

If so, you may have tried time-management approaches such as tools for delegation and prioritisation, e.g. the Eisenhower Matrix – named after the US President Eisenhower’s approach to decision-making according to whether things are urgent or important: https://www.eisenhower.me/eisenhower-matrix/.

Other time-management approaches include not over-committing by agreeing to every request. This encourages you to say “no” if you notice that you’ve been saying “yes” for the sake of being nice or helpful (which doesn’t necessarily bring about positive benefits).

Another approach is time-blocking, which is not only effective for creating space in one’s diaries but also for affording yourself some time to breath – and to reflect.

Even with time-management approaches, there may simply be too many tasks for the hours you have available. But if you’ve allowed breathing space in your schedule, you can at least take a calm moment to reflect on what’s achievable. Pausing to reflect is also an opportunity to consider one’s relationship with the state of being busy – and this can shift your whole approach to a deeper level.

Is busy good?

There’s a saying: “if you want to get something done, give it to a busy person.” The subtext is often born out: busy people are - out of necessity - efficient with their time, and this can get results.

Similarly, a mantra when I was growing up was “always keep busy”. Being busy was something to aspire to; it was the antidote to idleness and it carried with it the idea of being productive, being a contributor, and of doing something of value.

Surely, these are qualities we can all believe in, aren’t they?

Yet, the term busy has, in my view, side effects that are less positive. Being busy brings degrees of burden and of being un-free. The term carries expectations and can sometimes convey judgement - of oneself, of others - as well as judgements by others. For example, a busybody can be a derogatory label for someone who is overly active or even meddlesome.

By contrast, the frequently-used enquiry “how’s life - are you busy?” is usually well-intentioned but can trigger a pressure to answer in the affirmative (even if you’re not busy) in order to give the expected response, i.e. one which conveys socially-desirable states such as being fulfilled, in demand and sought after.

There again, being too busy can leave one feeling locked in a pattern from which there is no respite. “I’m sooo busy” we exclaim in exasperation. Or sometimes it’s a phrase used to promote an image of importance in which a person is so in demand that their time is unbookable. “I’m very busy, but I may have a window (to see you) in about … three months time?!”

Indeed, busy can specifically mean unavailable, as in “the line is busy – you can’t get through.” Or it can describe undesirable conditions such as being over-crowded: “the train was horribly busy.”

The busy-ness of business

Interestingly, it is from the term busy-ness that the word business was derived in the 15^th century, meaning occupied and engaged. There was also a term in use then of busy-less meaning at leisure or unemployed, which illustrates how the origins of busy extended beyond the world of work – business – to describe a state of being, with a busy-less state allowing for leisure or non-work. In the language of today, a term we might use for managing ourselves in these different realms, is agency.

If you are experiencing overwhelming busy-ness, try asking yourself:

● Has busy-ness become a habitual state?

● How much control is being applied towards the things that are demanding your time?

● Who’s in charge? (of how you live your life – not just your job!)

● When you are busy, do you have agency?

A world without busy?

Agency, in a nutshell, is defined as the ability to take action or to choose what action to take. With agency you apply intentionality to the actions you take. In doing so, you can still avoid being idle or unproductive, but you can engage your time in ways which align with your values and choices. Your schedule may be full, and you yourself active, but shifting one’s attitude from being busy to having agency can provide a sense of feeling freer in the management of one’s time.

Even using a term like active instead of busy can help to generate a greater sense of having agency. Will you still say “I’m sooo busy” when you’ve reclaimed agency over your schedule?

Or, when someone asks you “are you busy?” could you try saying “no, I’m not busy. But I am active / engaged / occupied with […the activities you have chosen to apply your time to].” All these terms imply greater intentionality than simply saying busy.

And, with regular moments of reflection about the state of being busy, maybe you’ll find yourself thinking, “actually I’m rather enjoying being busy-less at the moment!”

---

These musings have emerged from Jo Elms, executive coach and mentor. Jo is also a co-director of TopHat Discovery CIC, which is a social enterprise providing coaching-based services for social impact.

What are your thoughts? Like, disagree? Share and get involved! And contact us HERE to find us for your coaching needs.